Life should MOVE ON!!!

Its been a long time, i have let my heart out as words. Its just that, I was, and I'm in a difficult phase of life where things you like are not in your hands and the one who wants you is nowhere near to your heart.

In this period of time, between my previous post and this one, there are lot of things which made me feel so good and there are many things which questioned my credibility. Few things made me cry but few things made me feel that your tears are not worth for the reason which made you cry.

I have been left out and let down in many matters, the people who were close to me few years back and who made the best part of my life are hardly interested in my life. They don't even bother how am i? or what am i doing? Its just that I came to know lately that sooner or later everyone will gonna leave you alone but i have to make sure one thing that LIFE SHOULD MOVE ON.

I don't want to sit and cry for the one who left me/ignored me,Nor i can plead them to come back into my life. Its just that I have started to MOVE ON.

Its been a long time where i was very much emotional towards the things which were related to my closed ones. I feel i have left out a lot of sweat just to make sure that i will stand shoulder to shoulder to my closed ones, but all in vain.

Things in everyone's life will always go in a different and difficult way when you least expect it to happen. If you need a friend you don't find any, if you need a teacher you find empty classes, if you need a partner you find loneliness, if you need inspiration you find rejection, if you need a candle you find darkness holding your hand. Its just that everything you expect or aspire for are ought to not happen. 

But these are the days, which actually make us strong, they make us Human, they make us a person whom everyone will be wishing to be in the long run. 

There might be many who are facing the same things as i'm today. All i can say is, We always GET that, what we DESERVE the most. Just make sure that you are the person who deserves the best, its the only thing which is in you hands. 

Rest will be taken care by itself.

Its time for me to go, cos i have decided to MOVE ON!!

-A guy in search of solace

A Guy in his mid 20's

A stage where responsibility, independence, money, glory, recognition and finally a speculation about the future all comes together. If marriage is the only thing which bothers girls, believe me there are 10-15 things which bothers a guy.

A stage where youngsters hesitate to consider them and elders hesitate to exclude them. A sense of maturity needs to be added up to the resume of character/behaviour. You can never ignore your once upon a time crush getting married to a guy, nor you can concentrate on catching up a girl. A time where we guys come to know that, life isn't about winning all the time. Its just adjusting yourself to keep up the pace with others. May be on the way you have to sacrifice a girl/a friend/or a life itself.

Parents have a sign of pride on their shoulders looking at their son's earning handsomely and we carry a big question mark on our shoulders to decide on the path we should move on. The same adda's where you spoke about a college gossip, or the feeling you had towards a girl, or the ambition you had: to do something good for the country is turned out to be a place where you just discuss about the salaries,PM's,SPM's, appraisal and hike.

Sometimes it makes me feel, life has changed/ the people have changed but in reality, its just that our priorities have changed. Your family asks for your future plans, but all that you can answer is a mumble. You don't know whether you are ready for marriage which seems very funny, when compared to the promise you made for the first girl friend, which stated:I ll marry you  as soon as i start earning. Isn't it funny? We are not sure whether we are ready for higher studies nor are we sure if the change of company will turn the things around.

The only thing you are clear about is that money doesn't make things simple, infact it makes it complex. Everyone look upto as a Grown up boy, but you still have a considerable amount of childishness which wants to creep out of your bounds once in a while. You cant actually express in public that you are not sure about your future, nor can you keep quiet, fighting it out on your own.You cant stop dreaming about a angel being your wife nor you can be confident of affording one.

I have faced all these things in just two years, and i'm sure there are lot in store to come. I'm quite sure there are many out there just like me, with the same questions/dilemmas. As i write this up, i feel, life is a quest to be  won on our own and more importantly finding answers to the dilemmas/questions.

Life of a guy isn't so simple as it seems to be!!!

Signing of in a state of dilemma,

A guy in mid 20's

Its Limitless Friendship

A person enters into your life so unexpectedly and moves on to become the prize possession of your life. The same person slaps on your face, gets hold of your collar and drags you out of the mess, you are about to fall into. Its the same person who gives her shoulder to cry and consoles in the very best way, so that you get strength to fight the rest of the battle. Its again the same person who makes each and everything possible on this earth just to make you feel that, you are wanted and you are special. I know everyone will have a friend of this kind.

But she is Unique and in a special way. Atleast for me.

Its been 6 years of the impeccable friendship. The best thing that ever happened to me. Its been one heck of a Roller Coaster ride. There were days in these 6 years, where we spoke about each and every corner in the world and at the same time there were days we dint speak at all, obviously its for silly reasons. I always believed in the saying "Great Friendship brings along with it Great Fights", so it happened in our's too. We used to fight everyday,literally, almost everyday. At the end of the day, we used to speak as normal as nothing had happened. May be another saying comes true too "Great Fights among friends gets them even closer once its over".

All these years, she has been in each and everyday of my life. She was there with me when i proposed a girl and she is still there with me,when the same girl had moved out of my life. She was there with me when i was applauded/praised/admired by everyone and she is still there with me when everyone else have negelected/rejected/forgotten me. 

That's what makes her so special!!! Its an unconditional friendship.In just a word its "Limitless".

Soon she will get married to a guy and i'm very happy to see her that way. She deserves the best place in this world for the kind of person she is, and i just want to make sure that she will be in safe hands.

I wish her all the best and thank her from bottom of my heart for standing with me in all phases of my life.

Signing off!!! by humming the song 

"Jab koi baat bigad jaaye, 

jab koi mushkil pad jaye, 

tum dena saath mera o humnawaz"

Its all about LOVE!!!!

Legitimate relationship which is very Optimistically driven to become one of the Very faithfull En-devour of a person in his/her life.
       Sounds very complex, though it is not so. The four letter word may be having different meaning for different people, even the way they show might be different but for me its nothing but the first sentence. I have had different forms of relationships in my life starting from infatuations which i thought a lifetime love initially and it didnt even last a month, crushes which were real and cherishable made me to think and feel that someday everything is gonna happen in my way and i will be standing beside my crush posing for my(sorry ours) marriage photo, and some more things which we cant even name.
      But being in this world for 23 years and 165 days today i came to know the real meaning of the word LOVE and the true essence of how it feels to be in love.
      Being in a relationship for three years abt 5 years ago, i still feel good about what i went through in those three years. There was love written all over the walls of my heart, she was a heck of a girl who always made me feel that i was special even though i never felt or believed in myself like that. I wonder how she use to handle my stupid thoughts and my flirty nature.
       It still amazes me, even after knowing that i play around with girls the love and faith which she had on me never decreased even for a whisker of it. I even tried to be as true to her as she is but you know even the god of love loses his move infront of her. Now, the girl is gone and forever, being married to someone else.
       I can still feel the sadness and anger which she had towards me,the last time we met. Her eyes asking me questions about why i'm not doing anything to save her and have her in my life. She for the first time lost faith on me and even the immense trust too. I still feel i was a coward at that time, who was thinking practically at a moment where i was supposed to be emotional and courageous. May be i never realized how eternal was her love. May be i never made her feel the way she used to make me feel. May be i didn't deserve her. May be she deserved best than me for the person she was and she always will be.
       Far from me she is happy, may be she is enjoying her life, and its obvious that she is getting the love which, she deserved.
      After exactly 1 year and 3 months being away from her and seeing her with someone else other than me. I regret for what i didnt do. I blame myself for letting her go without doing anything to retain her. As i said before i'm a coward and i have given the proof atleast for her.
     All these days for more than 6 months, i always felt i was missing something and i didnt even know till today that i was missing a TRUE LOVE which i enjoyed for almost 3 years. All i can blame for, is me no one else.
    In the busiest days of my life i feel for true love from a person who will be with me for ever. I even tried to divert my attention from my angel to other girls. But, nothing worked, nothing matched her love. I never was moved by anyone else even though they were breathtakingly beautiful than my angel but never they could replace her for a moment.
    Yesterday it was her 23rd birthday and for the first time in 5 years i didnt speak to her on her birthday. Just i texted her and i never got a reply. I never expect her to reply, after giving so much pain to her.
    May be i will never get a true love of that sort again. I'm cursed by her sufferings and its for sure that even if i marry anyone else i can never get such a eternal love. Nor i can ever show that to anyone else.
   This one is dedicated to my angel whom i wish a very happie and happening life ahead.
I still miss her. I never knew that she is so special to me in the past but today she is the beautifull part of my story which i want to read again and again may be forever.....
 I MISS HER. . . . even after knowing that I CANT HAVE HER IN MY LIFE. . .

Signing off in the loving memories of my love........
    

Being Alone! the real test of character

Out of every mind which speaks/mourns/cares/feels/loves/misses/cries there is always a period attached to it where it sits alone in one corner of the house or on a bench in the park or roams around in trans, where it cant sense the smile of others nor it wants the care of others.It just needs some time to recoup itself.
There may be many in this world who nod their heads to what i say or, atleast they hold my hand and guide me through this or may be they walk beside me silently without saying a word just giving their agreement.

Being Alone!!! is what i'm speaking about.

When we walk across the crowded streets of our city we always find people rejoicing in laughter, or gossiping in groups or walking silently in the road with no one beside them to gossip or laugh. Yeah!! i'm speaking about the third kind of people.

Right now i'm in that state where i have many around me but still dont find anyone to speak, i have millions of jokes within me but still dont have anyone to share and laugh, i have lot of topics to debate upon but no one to compete, I have more to achieve but none to support and give strength,I have stories to say but none to hear. I'm sure everyone had passed through this state atleast once in a life time.
This is the difficult and most testing phase of anyone's life. To win in this situation is far difficult than to lose in it. Its just that having a tone to sing but no song with lyrics.
Every breath you take in reminds you that there is no one for you. Every second the clock ticks says that you passed a second with no one around.
Every second you think of the good old memories, where you cherish the days spent with many, to hear you speak,see you laugh, give you a high 5!, even fight for your mistake with others. And even today you long for such days to come back, but its never gonna happen.
I have always believed that every single person who comes in your life moves out one day leaving behind good or bad memories to cherish or learn. Every relationship changes it state continously becoming mature or childish.Still the beliefs i have never get respect when i see that no one is with me. I forget what i believed and ignore that change is the rule of the world. Where no one is spared nor anything is looked upon.
I was not ready for the change when it happened to me. Now recouping myself.
This is where the real test of reselience and strength comes into picture. Every passing cloud has a ray of hope behind it. Every wind that blows carries warmth in it.

I don't have any solution for this...... i'm just waiting for that ray of hope/warmth of wind !!!! May be what i wrote is incomplete/incorrect cos there is no one around me now to correct this!!!....... Hope so someone somewhere on this globe feels good that they are not the only person who are living alone!!!!

Writing in the memories of Being Alone!!!! .....